Ep 2: From the NASA Junkyard to Celebrity Matchmaking
Amy Van Doran, Founder of the Modern Love Club
In this Substack:
An introduction to this 30 minute podcast (available in video on YouTube!)
My deeper analysis as a coach on why Amy is so aligned and thriving
Amy’s New York City recommendations
Meet Amy…
Amy Van Doran is a celebrity and non-celebrity matchmaker, founder of the Modern Love Club, and a fixture in the New York City creative scene. Her journey to get here has been anything but traditional. Growing up in a junkyard outside of NASA in Florida, raised by a circus performer and her boyfriend, her story is a testament to what’s possible when you combine authenticity with spirituality.
https://www.modernloveclub.com/
In the podcast we discuss…
How her unconventional childhood shaped her unapologetic sense of self
How she transformed her loneliness into a career focused on connection
The parallels between careers and romantic relationships — and why both require risk, curiosity, and play
How creating community might be the real antidote to our modern dating crisis
How she uses her style to manifest what she wants
How spirituality saved her life
4 Coaching Lessons From My Conversation with Amy
TLDR: Amy has always created her life for herself. She is a master at connecting with others and building community, she has a spiritual practice that guides her, and she uses her style to further support her alignment.
Lesson 1: Amy created her life for herself
“I always was connected to my instincts because if you grow up poor, you can't become more poor than poor. So there's no risk in trying to do anything because the fact that I left Florida and can read was kind of like already like, bravo, she won. Like, you're not addicted to crack, congratulations.”
It’s so easy to mold ourselves into a shape our families or communities have raised us to believe are safe, accepted, and best.
This is how we end up on career paths that don’t fit.
Or in relationships that feel empty.
Amy, however, had zero pressure to be a certain type of person in her life.
And while the circumstances of her upbringing weren’t always easy, they forced her to connect to herself and design her career and life on her terms.
Allow yourself to consider: what would you go for if you had nothing to lose?
Whatever pops into your mind is the seed of your alignment.
Lesson 2: Amy is a master at building relationships, doing cool things, and creating IRL community
“If you want a great career or a great relationship or an interesting life, it's gonna require some boldness. These jobs don't come to people who are just like sitting in their home waiting for someone to call them. And if you want a great big relationship, it's not going to be just sitting around on Hinge, hoping that someone messages you. You're probably going to be doing something really cool and like living your life.”
Amy credits her “belligerent curiosity” in people to her success.
She is a master at building relationships and building community, she will go up to anyone and ask them anything.
If they have a pool.
What they like to eat.
If they want to join her for ‘Sunset Club’ on Wednesdays in Valentino Park.
This is how she knows everyone.
This is how she’s created opportunities for her business, for her clients, for her own creative and romantic life.
It’s comfortable to stay at home and swipe on Hinge or apply to jobs on LinkedIn or hangout in Whatsapp groups.
And while these tools can be extra support to whatever you’re looking to create, the magic happens IRL.
Lesson 3: Amy has a spiritual practice that guides her
“And so I'm crying and I'm like, I can't, I'm eight. Like, I don't know how I'm going to get through this. And literally a book by, it was Krishamurti, hit me in the head and I opened it up and it's like, things are as they are. And it began a very beloved and long journey with Buddhism…”
Spirituality is part of a healthy diet.
And for Amy it was a lifeline during a tumultuous and lonely childhood.
She credits Tibetan Buddhism with saving her life time and time again.
The reason I’m very into encouraging everyone to develop their own spiritual beliefs is because they close the gap between the known and the unknown.
When life gets scary, hard, and confusing a spiritual practice can carry you through.
Whether it’s a traditional spiritual structure or something unconventional, scientific, humanist, or uniquely your own you want to create a philosophy about life that comforts you in those in between moments.
Lesson 4: Amy uses her style to manifest what she wants
“I definitely use fashion to bring me into situations that I want to be in and to design the kind of person that I want to be in … almost like the way that a person might manifest things. And so if I want to be invited to a cool party, I will dress already to be invited to the party… I do think when people find an alignment with who they are on the inside with their outside then the people that are looking for them can find them. And so you're doing people a favor.”
Don’t underestimate the power of your wardrobe to signal who you are and what you’re available for.
How you dress doesn’t have to be about fashion.
It’s about feeling like what you wear reflects who you are.
As Amy says, when how you feel on the inside matches how you look on the outside you become a match for the people and opportunities that are best fit for you.
Alignment can come in all forms: career, romance, friendships, hobbies, style….
Each is a lever you can pull to get into the slipstream.
Amy’s New York
I asked Amy for a flavor of her New York.
HAIR: Her orange tresses are coiffed and maintained at Haus of Reagan in SoHo
STYLE: She loves Judi Rosen - the denim it girl and a Nolita fixture since 1992. And Amarcord Vintage in Greenpoint for the best vintage.
FUN: Amy had a big hand in the design of the rollerskating rink Xanadu in Bushwick.
EAT: Amy loves a Georgian dumpling cheeseboat. Apparently Cheeseboat the family-run bistro in Williamsburg and Hell’s Kitchen is where it’s at.
DRINK: What’s more iconic than The Hotel Chelsea? For a $32 martini, cheese burger, and ghosts of artists past. Bob Dylan. Leonard Cohen. Robert Mapplethorpe. Jimi Hendrix. Sid Vicious. The gang’s all here.
Inspired and want this for yourself?
I help people create energizing careers they love.
I do this by helping them connect to themselves, trust themselves, and build a network around them to guide them and open doors - just like Amy.
You can learn more about my philosophy by downloading my *free* Career Fulfillment Playbook.
Or by taking my *free* strengths test, The Flow Zone Assessment.
Or check out my 3 month group coaching program, The Career Studio.
Surround yourself with a group of others committed to creating fulfilling careers that support their lifestyle priorities. Through a mix of 1x1 and Group coaching you release long-held blocks creating fear, insecurity, and confusion and build your confidence and self-trust from the inside out.
You leave clear on your most aligned next step, and in momentum to making it happen.